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I feel sad to leave

And excited to go

There is fear in me

Embracing the unknown

I feel courageous

And scared shitless

I feel like I’m falling

And I’m rising

I feel one with the

Wind, the tide and the Seas

I feel like I’m going

to fall on my knees

I feel relaxed

Connected with the Sun

I feel like I’m

Going to shoot

Everyone with a gun

I feel hopeless, depressed

And confused

It feels inevitable to lose

I feel like nothing


And scared of everything

I feel like I could puke

All the time

With all this shit

What’s the benefit?

Emotional processing

I’m so sick of it

All of it moving so quickly out

Of me

Emotions rise

And fall

And take their toll

On my body

My exhausted body

And then, I can breathe


Breath of life

Sweeter than before

Because now I know

The price of one more

One more moment

On this Earth

Is a gift

My world is bereft

Of my brother

There’s not another

He was the one

And now he’s gone

Leaving me

In sadness so deep

I’m not sure I’ll be able to swim


And then I do

I embrace the truth

That he was sent to us

To show us how to live

Even through fear

The most fear

Because on the other side

Is more than I can imagine

Full of fun loving adventure and bliss

I would never choose to miss

Out on this life

My one precious life

I live it in honor of him

The one who I learned how to swim


He guides me

From his rightful place


Where he sits

Watching me

Building my empire for me

Made from leggos of love

I am connected to him

And he helps me know

That it’s okay to let go

Of the fear

It doesn’t have to live here

It serves you none, he says

“Please, just go have fun.”


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